What She Means
by DemonicGambit
Summary: Zuko thinks about his relationship with the various girls in his life. And comes to a realization. Oneshot. ZukoMai


1Pairing: Mai/Zuko

Disclaimer: Don't own; Don't plan to...

A/N: My first Avatar fic shrug I root for the bad guys

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Zuko sat in the throne room of Bai Sing Sa, alone. Azula was off 'interrogating' some prisoners, no doubt their own uncle. Ty Lee and Mai had been put in charge of some project of a city wide search for fire nation renegades, or something. That left Zuko to his own devices and in a place such as this, that didn't leave much at his disposal.

As he sat, reliving the past several months, he was surprised to realize that not even a full day had passed since he and his uncle came to the palace as 'guests'. He relived the happiness he felt for his uncle upon coming to the palace. His lost chance to capture the Avatar's airbison... or was it buffalo? His annoyance at having to work in a tea shop. Then suddenly Jin passed through his idle brain for a brief moment. Wonderings of what she was doing and how she was, caught the young prince off guard.

Frowning to himself, he brushed the wonderings off as simple curiousity, she had been his first real kiss, after all. Therefore, she was bound to be thought of every once and a while; completely normal, and meaningless. Leaning forward he rested his chin on his hand, much deeper thoughts were now running through his head. Despite his mental attempt to brush off the girls sudden jump to the front of his brain.

He knew what Jin was to him, a simple curiousity. Someone conviently around while he fought with the more basic challanges of being a teenager. What he was wondering now, was what everyone else was to him. Azula, his sister, despite their relationship resembling nothing of caring siblings. Katar, the waterbender peas...master. The only person he could remember, aside from his uncle, to offer him understanding and compassion. To Ty Lee and ...Mai, the only friends his sister claimed.

Ty Lee seemed competely unfit for Azula's little mini brigade of power, her bubbly personality and positive outlook on life unfitting to Azula's darkness and thirst for power. Perhaps that was the reason his sister was found of the pink acrobat? He rolled his eyes, because for the life of him, he could barely stand the girl.

Azula. Now, he could see his life being genuinely better without her in it. She, made him want to be a stronger, tougher person. To prove himself in his family and even his own eyes. That he was worth something, anything. He had fought his entire life to win the approval of his father, and break himself free of Azula's shadow. His jaw clenched as he remembered their childhood; besting Azula was the only thing that he thought of when he was in the presence of his younger sister. He knew that the only way of upshowing his sister though, was at the cost of losing himself. He'd have to forget everything he's learned since his banishment, cut off the last of his emotions. And as everyone near him knew he was pretty fond of his anger, it gave him purpose. To turn his back on those that had stood by him and wanted to help him...like his Uncle, like Katara.

He turned his head, as he felt his guilt hit him in the stomach as he thought of the two.

It was odd, when he had been trapped with Katara, he found himself wanting to be better then what he was. Atonement for his past sins was what he sought. He longed for her forgiveness and understanding. Something about the young water tribe girl made all the guilt and second guesses he had become so excellent at hiding rush to the surface. Perhaps it was her parallel pain of losing her mother that made him feel an attachment for the girl. She could understand the pain he suffered through, and no doubt her pain also ran close in the matter of their siblings. The water nation had always been sexually biaist, and he doubted they'd ever truly change their ways. He was sure that her entire childhood, despite the love her family no doubt showered her with, her brother would have always looked upon in a higher light. Could he have found redemption in her bright blue eyes? Eyes so unlike that of his nation, sea blue verses a striking gold. A gold he saw reflected back at him in Mai's hooded piercing gaze.

Now Mai was a subject he didn't mind mulling over. He had quickly realized when concerning Mai, he could be himself. She allowed him to retreat into his sulking moods, she took his arrogance in stride, yet reminded him of his proper place with harsh and snide remarks. There was never pressure from her to be someone he wasn't, she accepted him as he was. It didn't bother her that he wasn't a master firebender, that he couldn't produce lightening, only small explosions in his face. He frowned, he was probably reading too much into her apathy. Why should he of all people mean anything to the fire nation noble. With his failures and faults he couldn't possibly offer her the life that so many fire nation women sought after. He had lost his honor, and granted he was on a treachours path to reclaim it, he would always be remember as the prince to fail his nation. To shame the name of Agni and the Fire Lord. Leaning back he shook his doubt from his mind. No he had long known that she had feelings for him, despite her nonchalant nature. Perhaps, she _still_ had feelings for the prince?

After sitting in silence thinking over matters of the heart and mind, he finally came to one conclusion.

He decided it was much better being true to himself, then trying to be someone he wasn't.

Letting a small smile grace the edges of his lips he looked up to see Mai walking into the throne room, not necessarily following behind her...friend, Ty Lee, but the smaller girl could never calmly walk. No she was bouncing, quite literally off the walls and springing forward, only to come running back to Mai's side. He watched as Mai rolled her eyes at the girl's antics, all the while Ty Lee mindlessly chatted away about absolutely nothing.

Looking up at him, he caught her small falther in her confidence flauter and it was as if the wind was knocked out of her, it was always like that when they caught one another's eyes. He was now was walking towards the huge doors of the throne room, towards them. He could see past her cold eyes, to see confusion behind her mask.

She was so caught up in him, she had yet to notice that Ty Lee had not only stopped talking about whatever it was she had been going on about, she had also ceased bouncing around. Instead she stood just a few feet from Mai's side, watching the two, a smile on her face. He had yet to notice Ty Lee was no longer bouncing around the room.

Zuko stood infront of Mai, his face stern and detereminded. He felt his jaw was about to pop off from how hard he was clenching his teeth. Closing his eyes and releasing a deep breath, he opened them and stared her deeply in the eyes. "Thank you."

She stared at him stunned, and blinked in confusion. She obviously hadn't been expected that, but before she could say anything, he continued on his way out of the green throne room. A small smile on his lips.

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A/N: Probably horrible...but whatever. I did it before catching my flight for Vegas... Reveiw and tell me how horrible it was.

-Shadow


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